I think of myself as a kind and generous person, always willing to help out, but there are some instances that make me want to keep my time and money to myself.

Gift Giving

  • Receiving no thanks or appreciation when I’ve spent a lot of time trying to find the perfect gift for someone.
  • Going to a bridal shower with a gift and then expected to bring my chequebook to purchase items from a home party demonstration.
  • Bringing a snack or treat to work or an event only to be criticized really throws cold water on my desire to do something nice next time.
  • Cooking an extra special meal that takes several hours (for family, friends or some function) and someone says “It would have been better if you had made —.”  I personally think ANY meal I don’t have to cook myself is a great meal.
  • Giving someone a gift and they say, “Oh, you shouldn’t have” makes me think I’ve done something wrong.
  • I dislike being expected to shell out money at work for a Christmas gift for the boss, purchase items being hawked by staff member’s kids and chipping in for a wedding or retirement gift for someone I don’t even know.  If I want to contribute, I will.


  • Automatic gratuities of up to 20% to service people who do no more than what is expected of them.  People should be allowed to tip what they feel is deserved (an appreciation of great service) so when it is made mandatory it totally loses the spirit of “gratuity.”  When was the last time you received exceptional service?
  • Tipping in general.  Pay employees more money per hour – what they are worth – and completely stop the giving of tips.  There are many employees who serve customers or clients during their workday who don’t expect or receive tips.


  • Giving money to a charity and finding out the volunteers had an “after fundraiser” party with expensive gifts as door prizes.
  • People in need expecting brand new, expensive items rather than being satisfied with gently used items.
  • A pet peeve of mine is when I donate to an organization and they start calling me or mailing requests for more money.  If I wanted to give more, I would have done so when I sent the cheque the first time.  I wish they would stop calling me month after month and wasting postage asking for more.
  • I like to give to a cause, but NOT to the pushy person on the phone or at the door who interrupts my dinner.
  • Why is it that once I give to a charity ALL the fire/police/animal/disabled, etc associations somehow get my address and phone number?  I don’t like having my name passed from one charity to another.

I think that losing the joy of giving has come about because we as a culture have lost the joy of receiving.  We don’t know how to gratefully and gracefully receive a gift especially if it’s not what we wanted or expected and sometimes we expect too much.

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