I’m not exactly a technophobe but I fail to be impressed by all the gadgets available on the store shelves these days. I know I’m in the minority and a lot of people (especially, but not exclusively, you guys) are enticed by things that light up and bleep.
Do you have a cell phone that has two thousand apps? A Kindle that holds thirty thousand books? That’s fantastic! Amazing! Who cares? You’ll never use one-tenth of what’s programmed in there.
Here are some gadgets that, to me, have to be some of the most pointless gimmicks out there:
1. Message Toaster – This toaster has a screen on the side that you can write a message on. Put in your slice of bread and your toasted message is ready in a couple of minutes. What kind of message would you put on your toast? “Please pick up bread on your way home from work?” After you’ve read the message can you cover it up with jam or Cheez Whiz? What if you forget what it said?
2. Rearview Mirror DVD – I’ve seen people read a book while driving and now they can watch the movie. If that isn’t dangerous enough, this device supports three separate video displays all at once!
3. Solar-Paneled Backpack – This backpack from Ralph Lauren looks like an ordinary backpack but it has a solar panel built into it to charge your gadgets. You need “proper sunlight orientation” to charge your cell phone in two to three hours. Would you have to stand in one spot with your back to the sun? Could you only walk or ride your bike in one direction? What if it starts to cloud over?
4. Briefcase Toilet – This is a leather briefcase that opens up to reveal a fully functional portable toilet. It also has various pockets to store your documents (and folded toilet paper?). The specs say it has a capacity of 175 lbs. I don’t even want to think about what that means!
5. Propeller Pen – I wasn’t going to include this on my list as I thought it could be pretty neat. It would be handy for the occasional hot flash while I’m jotting down notes. It combines the best features of a ballpoint pen with a hand held fan. Just be careful not to chew on it or you’ll be getting a do-it-yourself nose job.
This is just a small sampling of the useless gadgets out there. I say – just because you can make something, doesn’t mean you have to. I certainly won’t be wasting any money on these contraptions.
