Retirement Plan B: A Light Hearted Look

Sometimes I get tired of hearing about how much I should have saved for my retirement years ago.  I admit I had a late start and my portfolio is not as large as it could have been if I would have saved instead of spent my money over the years.

However, if I don’t think I’ll have enough money to live comfortably in my old age, I have a retirement plan B – move in with one of my kids!

When I’m a little old lady

 Then I’ll live with my children

And bring them great joy.

To repay all I’ve had from each girl and boy

I shall draw on the walls and scuff up the floor;

Run in and out without closing the door.

I’ll hide frogs in the pantry, socks under my bed.

Whenever they scold me, I’ll hang my head.

I’ll run and I’ll romp, always fritter away

The time to be spent doing chores every day.

I’ll pester my children when they are on the phone.

As long as they’re busy I won’t leave them alone.

Hide candy in closets, rocks in the drawers,

And never pick up my clothes from the floor.

I’ll dash off to the movies and not wash a dish.

I’ll plead for allowance whenever I wish.

I’ll stuff up the plumbing and deluge the floor.

As soon as they’ve mopped it,

I’ll flood it some more.

When they correct me, I’ll lie down and cry,

Kicking and screaming, not a tear in my eye.

I’ll take all their pens and flashlights, and then

When they buy new ones, I’ll take them again.

I’ll spill glasses of milk to complete every meal,

Eat my banana and just drop the peel.

Put toys on the table; spill jam on the floor,

I’ll break lots of dishes as though I were four.

What fun I shall have, what joy it will be to

Live with my children … the way they lived with me!

            -Author unknown

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  1. Mike Holman on December 27, 2011 at 7:15 am

    Hilarious. What do you think Robb? 😉

    • Echo on December 27, 2011 at 10:14 am

      @Mike – Sounds like a great plan…for my brother 😉

      • Boomer on December 28, 2011 at 10:23 am

        @Echo – No need to fight over me – you can both have equal time.

  2. My University Money on December 27, 2011 at 7:38 am

    My parents routinely threaten me with this reality… let’s just say my girlfriend and I are both strongly rooting for CPP to stay solvent!

  3. Molly on December 27, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    Love it!

  4. UltimateSmartMoney on December 27, 2011 at 6:29 pm

    A great idea~! We can always move in with our kids’ family. They cannot reject us, right? This is the ultimate plan B if we do not have enough retirement saving. Does this mean we need to have as many kids as possible to increase our chances?

    • Boomer on December 28, 2011 at 10:27 am

      @UltimateSmartMoney – We put our children into daycare so now it’s their turn to “institutionalize” their parents – aka retirement home.

  5. Cat on December 28, 2011 at 9:36 am

    That’s great – I love it!

  6. Jean on January 1, 2012 at 8:49 am

    Haha, that was great! I was reminded of Jerry Stiller’s character on the TV show ‘King of Queens’, Arthur Spooner, while reading it!


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