Retirement Plan B: A Light Hearted Look

Sometimes I get tired of hearing about how much I should have saved for my retirement years ago.  I admit I had a late start and my portfolio is not as large as it could have been if I would have saved instead of spent my money over the years.

However, if I don’t think I’ll have enough money to live comfortably in my old age, I have a retirement plan B – move in with one of my kids!

When I’m a little old lady

 Then I’ll live with my children

And bring them great joy.

To repay all I’ve had from each girl and boy

I shall draw on the walls and scuff up the floor;

Run in and out without closing the door.

I’ll hide frogs in the pantry, socks under my bed.

Whenever they scold me, I’ll hang my head.

I’ll run and I’ll romp, always fritter away

The time to be spent doing chores every day.

I’ll pester my children when they are on the phone.

As long as they’re busy I won’t leave them alone.

Hide candy in closets, rocks in the drawers,

And never pick up my clothes from the floor.

I’ll dash off to the movies and not wash a dish.

I’ll plead for allowance whenever I wish.

I’ll stuff up the plumbing and deluge the floor.

As soon as they’ve mopped it,

I’ll flood it some more.

When they correct me, I’ll lie down and cry,

Kicking and screaming, not a tear in my eye.

I’ll take all their pens and flashlights, and then

When they buy new ones, I’ll take them again.

I’ll spill glasses of milk to complete every meal,

Eat my banana and just drop the peel.

Put toys on the table; spill jam on the floor,

I’ll break lots of dishes as though I were four.

What fun I shall have, what joy it will be to

Live with my children … the way they lived with me!

            -Author unknown